Talk:Polyamorous/@comment-184.59.7.186-20200810200058

Just a bit of a gripe- I know this is still a hotly debated topic in some circles, but I'm not a fan of calling Polyamory a "desire" or "capability". A desire in this context implies it's a choice. A capability is just a thing you are able to do.

I'm polyamorous and that's never felt like a choice. From childhood, I've never felt comfortable/right when it comes to the idea of monogamous relationships. I've tried them and it doesn't work. I don't cheat, but I also can't limit myself to romantically loving just one person. I will never have a monogamous relationship again. For other people, they're great. But I'm not personally wired that way. For me, and a lot of others like me, polyamory is a defining aspect of our sexual identity.

It just feels like exclusive language in an at least -somewhat- similar vein to calling someone's orientation a "desire" or a "capability".Perhaps it would be better labeled a "capacity". At least that would suggest that, at least for some people, something innate.