User blog:Paiige1/I'm back.

Hi there! I used to be an administrator for this wik i, and was known for my productivity with edits, administrative work on the wiki and the discord in addition to 2 essay-sized blog posts whereby I analyzed two topics, provided my thoughts and critiques of them.

Why did you leave?

In the MOGAI community, I encountered somebody. She was somebody with whom I strongly disagreed on almost all of their views, although I had strong feelings for her. I bit my lip on the issues I disagreed with her on, and let her extreme ideas manifest without ever criticising them. Her absurd, unsubstantiated beliefs began to seem normal, and I even began to sympathise with them. This was analogous to the normalisation of extremism we saw with Donald Trump. Eventually, I even began to hold some of the beliefs they held and wasn't thinking as critically about the topics. I began to adhere to communist ideology, became more critical of certain identities, began to appeal to anecdotes as an argument against MOGAI people and even became a transmedicalist.

During the later days in this community, I began to troll the "tucutes '' on the LGBTA Wiki discord, which I founded with Simon. I abused my power, but regardless of my disdain for those who disagreed with me on the server, I still felt a bit bad for said abuse. I confessed to my change in ideology and promptly left the server. I even stayed around for a few days on an alt account and continued trolling.

What happened to me and where was I?

During my time away from the LGBTA Wiki, I began to spend more time with the individual I was discussing. They began to wither away at my mental health, and I eventually cut contact with them after an argument following them lashing out at me over a bit of a meltdown that I had.

Following cutting contact, my mental health began to improve significantly. I still held the same positions I was indoctrinated into. I began to feel better about myself, more confident and had fewer mood swings. I felt more confident in my beliefs and thought for myself more.

Something that I may not have mentioned during my time in the LGBTA Wiki was that I was a vegetarian (now vegan). I eventually joined a vegan discord server and was convinced to go vegan after learning of cruelty existing in the egg and dairy industry. The more I learned about how bad animal agriculture is for the planet, humanity and the animals, the worse I felt about the state of the planet and people's dietary habits. I decided to become a vegan activist and began spending hours every day discussing the topic with people, and actually met a few people who used neopronouns. I valued the community more than some views I still wasn't very sure about and felt guilty for having, and thus I chose to stay silent about my disagreements with their identity and their usage of pronouns. The same effect that I experienced with the individual who indoctrinated me occurred with these individuals, and I began to become more sympathetic to marginalized identities.

Eventually, a transmedicalist joined the server and attacked various people who used neopronouns. I mentioned (paraphrasing) "I think you need to have gender dysphoria to be trans, but jesus, that guy was a huge asshole. I don't get why transmedicalists have to express their opinions so staunchly without any regard for simple respect, as much as I do agree with their views). I was challenged on this by somebody in the chat, and as this server was much more of a debate sphere, I was given the environment to discuss my views, argue for them and argue against my opponent critically. I realised that the actual arguments for MY position on transmedicalism was quite weak, and that none of the points could be actually substantiated. I began to question my values.

Following the discussion, I tried to formalise my argument with propositional logic. I realised that I could not substantiate any of my arguments, and as somebody with a strong dedication to truth and science, I conceded on the position.

I no longer adhere to a transmedicalist position.

Am I any different?

Yes. I am now a vegan activist, somebody with an actual dedication to science and somebody who takes topics more seriously. I now spend hours every day doing things more productive, such as researching, reading academic papers, debating, advocating and doing schoolwork. I no longer play video games, and I am a much more proactive individual than I was a year ago.

Will I stay on the LGBTA Wiki?

I will not be active on the LGBTA Wiki, but as someone who regularly writes essays, I will probably post some of my writings to my blog on this server.

Thank you, and I apologise to anybody who I have offended in the past on the discord or on other communities.