Thread:Chaoticcylinder/@comment-2A02:C7D:1A85:F600:A808:1949:651C:C4E0-20200728185356/@comment-2A02:C7D:1A85:F600:DCC0:F402:EF61:A13C-20200729123919

1. Radfems  and  conservatives  define  sexuality  based  on  'ASAB'  attraction  (based  on  sex,  not  gender). I  don't  want to  be  a  conservative  because  I  don't  agree  with  gender  roles  being  linked  to  sex  (among  many  other  things),  and  I  don't  want  to  be  a  radfem  because  they  have  no  respect  for  trans  and  dysphoric  people  (among  many  other  things). I'm  trying  to  find/make  a  community,  not  divide  one-  I  don't  see  why  we  can't  have lesbianism  exclusively  for  women  loving  women  and  another  sexuality  exclusively  for  AFABs  loving  AFABs. I  really don't  think  that  it  is  hateful  or  transphobic.

2. It's  often  not  possible  to  tell  who's  AFAB  at  a  glance,  I'm  generally  not  romantically  interested  in  more  feminine  people  either  which  doesn't  help. Personally,  if  somebody  I  was  attracted  to  turned  out  to be  AMAB  I  would  no  longer  be  attracted  to  them  romantically  or  sexually  because  I'm  not  attracted  to  people  with  male  bodies. That  does  not  mean  i  fetishise  the  female  body  or  female  genitalia-  a  fetish  is  to  do  with  something  ouside  of  genitalia.

3.  I'm  not  only  attracted  to  people  because  of  their  genitals / because  they're  AFAB,  to  say  so  is  a  little  offensive,  I'm  only  attracted  to  people  who  are  AFAB. I'm  not  attracted  to  trans  men  or  AFAB  nb  people  because  they're  trans  or  nb  either,  I  think  that  would  be  disrespectful  and  concerning,  I'm  just  only  able  to  be  attracted  to  those  who  are  AFAB,  regardless  of  their  gender. I  also  don't  believe  that  this  is  a  preference,  for  example  I  prefer  taller  partners,  but  that  doesn't  mean  I'm  incapable  of  loving  and  being  attracted  to somebody  shorter  than  me  in  a  romantic  way.

3. I'm  honestly  not  sure  where  I  stand  on  the  SRS  point  in  regards  to  trans  men  but  I'm  not  attracted  to  AMAB  people,  including  trans  women,  regardless  of  their  surgery  status. That's  not  because  I  don't  view  them as  real women-  I'm  not  only  attracted  to  people  who  ID  as  women. That's  because  I'm  only  attracted  to people  who  are  AFAB,  though  not  only  attracted  to  people  because  they  are  AFAB.

4. Sorry,  I  don't  know  how  else  to  explain  it,  hence  the  air  quotes.

5.  I  really  want  to  be  a  good  ally  to  dysphoric  people  and  I  understand  that  it  can  be  painful  for  some  to acknowledge  that  they are  or  are  not  AMAB  or  AFAB,  my  train  of  logic  was  that  this  would  be  a  sexuality which  people  can  choose  to  identify  with  and/or  as,  not  a  label  to  be  slapped  on  people  who  would  rather identify with other / no  labels  instead.

Thank  you  for  replying  to  me,  I'm  not  trying  to  be  rude  or  argumentative  I'm  just  a  bit  confused  and  also    worried  about  being  transphobic  because  I  genuinely  don't  want  to  hurt  anybody  but  at  the  same  time  i  don't think  I  can  change  my  sexuality. If  I  have  missed  a  label  which  might  fit  me  please  let  me  know.