User blog:ThrownawayCoffeeMug/I can't find anything on this so I want to ask if anyone does?????

So I've been looking for quite a while now on something that I think almost perfectly fits my identity (Occam's Razor and what not), but I cannot find anything about it. So I'm hoping someone can help me out if they know anything :)

It's related to feeling chaos. Not masculine or feminine, just constantly changing and enveloping chaos. It's kind of like an Outer God like Nyarlethotep, constantly changing in intensity, but always there and incomprehensible to humanity. the best I can find is if you mix together Chaosgender and Cryptidgender.