You probably know why. Quite frankly, I'm hurt. Someone who I considered to be a friend called me a "bitch" and "fucking dumb" because I stood up for someone that they were rude to. I tried to confront them about their toxic behaviors because I care, and I got hate in return. I have tried to show nothing but love, but that doesn't mean people will like me. But I will still try. I will still try to spread love because we don't do things to do things in return. We do things because we want other people to belong. And you all belong - each and every one of you.
I got hate because I stood up for friends who were being bullied by them. They were called irrelevant asses, bitches who just were looking for someone to pity them. Those were my friends. They are my friends. I don't stand idly by when I see someone name-calling and bullying. That's not the person who I am.
And people who are toxic, people who bully - they can get better. But they first have to acknowledge that what they're doing is wrong. I used to bully. I used to disregard people's feelings. I was miserable. I had no friends, so I pushed everyone away. That's no way to live life. As soon as I starting caring, I felt better about myself. Humans are meant to love. We are meant to change, and grow... to listen to our loved ones, and not be ashamed when we make mistakes. Apologies go a long way.
And remember, to all of you who are struggling, you are not alone. You are loved and valued, and your life is a unique and beautiful one. Don't be afraid to talk to people about your mental health and how you feel. Break the stigma and learn to love yourself. And you are strong. The strongest, smartest, and wisest people aren't the ones who never fell down, but the ones who learned to pick themselves back up a thousand times.
I'm going to focus on school for a while. I also have hobbies to hone, a podcast to catch up on listening, sleep to catch up on, and a bunch of other stuff, I guess. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to finish all of your holiday presents... but with what has happened, I don't know if I can focus on it. I hope you understand. Happy holidays. This wiki has been a safe space for me, but I might've been focusing on it too much and have lost sight of the other aspects of my life. Spread love to each other while you're gone, please. I love all of you.
Seriously. All of you.
~ James