Tw/homophobia, transphobia, swearing
So I've identified as pansexual for like, 5 years now. I'm out about that. But my gender... I've been identifying as a demigirl for about 2 years now, but have only come out to people that I know won't tell my family. I haven't come out to my family. They're definitely not homophobic/transphobic but I have 2 cousins who are also trans and I've always had this doubt in my mind because being gay/trans is like, 0.42% of the population. This makes me think, "maybe I'm just faking it?" even though I know this is definitely who I am. SO this is a conversation I had with one of my cousins (not the trans ones):
Me: wow, we have a lot of lgbt+ people in our neighborhood! (there's like 3 lesbian couples around us)
Cousin: oh, yeah, you're gay, right?
Me: Oh, I'm guess I'm 1/3 gay cause I'm pansexual
Cousin: oh, well that'll change in a couple months right?
And this conversation hurt me. It hurt me so much. He thinks I'm doing this to be trendy, is what I got from this conversation. This is why I can't come out as a demigirl. I'm afraid he'll be like, "Oh, yeah, well, you're just whatever is convenient at the moment right?" God fucking dammit.