Tw: d3pr3ssi0n, sch00l, su1cid@l thoughts, bullying, swearing, caps
So I had a mental breakdown in PE today
There was this dickhead on my tennis team who I just wanna kill rn
(Info: I've been playing tennis for 7 years and this idiot has never played it before)
He kept doing deliberately terrible shots and hitting it out, he lost my team so many points, but HE BLAMED THOSE SHOTS ON ME. I HAD LITERALLY DONE NOTHING, BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS MY FAULT. AND EVERYONE BELIEVED HIM AND SAID IT WAS MY FAULT TOO.
All the other people in my class expected my team to be good, cuz they all know I've been doing tennis for ages, but we lost every match because of this one boy.
He kept deliberately blocking shots that would have been perfect for me to hit, and then he kept telling me that I was dog shit.
I kept telling him to stop being an idiot, but he didn't. He was also cheating so much in every single match
He kept making fun of me for liking maths
By the end of the lesson, I was literally in tears and having a complete mental breakdown, I was literally about to smash my racket over his head but the lesson finished
After school when I was hanging out with my friends I was feeling so suicidal and depressed and I was crying for ages, just because of this one idiot. I know it sounds like an overreaction but it's hard to tell you guys exactly what it felt like
I still feel suicidal now and I just wanna die, just please please make it stop, I don't wanna live anymore
I hate myself so much and I don't even know why
I just don't wanna be here anymore
Human lives are so insignificant anyway, nobody would notice if I died
Everyone at school hates me
My family hates me
I hate myself
I don't deserve to live
I literally have no qualities
My life is a complete waste, I should just kill myself
Nobody would even miss me