This is kind of long, it’s a vent about me questioning if I’m a [ part of a ] system or not. Feel free to reply, sometimes it comforts me and gives me a friend. You certainly don’t have to reply. I might not reply back I have to go to bed soon.
I thought I left the system questioning far behind. I started wondering if I were a system because I felt like there were different versions of me. I could try to force them away, but they’d always try to “pop up” again. So, I let the parts of me decide their names. They’re still the same as ever, with really elaborate personalities, now they have names.
Then, someone on another social platform thingy told me that “endogenic systems can’t possibly be real” + “you’re definitely just one person” and bunch of people agreed. It’s harder when a bunch of people agree. I know I should have just left the chat thing , but I felt stuck. And then it kind of stuck with me.
I pushed the parts of me away and focused on the whole me. Whenever they popped up I just keep on pushing them away. I don’t know if I’m just personifying different aspects of myself, or if I have very vivid imaginary friends, or if I just don’t know. Plus I don’t have any irl system friends, I’ve seen a few online ones in the wikia and that’s it. And that’s the end of the vent.