So I know I'm slightly female (demigirl, paragirl, or librafeminine??) I know this. But I feel comfort when I refer to myself as a boy, sometimes. Like, if anyone else said that who knew me, I'd feel uncomfortable, I'd also feel uncomfy going into male areas (like male bathrooms). Yet, when a stranger accidentally calls me something masc I feel euphoria because of my presentation goals (gender =/= presentation, so this is just extra info).
So, like when I refer to myself as a boy it's normally by accident and I'm trying to calm myself down (I normally tell myself that I'm not a girl, as everyone thinks I am irl and I know I'm not completely so it's to ground myself) and I accidentally call myself a boy, which helps calm me down but also feels weird (in the way being called a girl feels slightly incorrect, but also slightly more odd than that).
It's just, I'm wondering if the part of my gender I'm unsure about is possibly masc. I've never explored that side of the spectrum as I'd just assumes I wasn't, but now I'm not sure. What do you all reckon?
Edit: Also know that, when I'm my "unsure gender" I prefer to present slightly more masculine than when I'm neutrois (where I aim to be as close to neutral as possible).