If I woke up in the opposite sex body, I think I would feel similarly to how I feel about my current body. I would like some traits and dislike others, and like and dislike some traits simultaneously. I have very mixed feelings about my body and its gendered parts. I want to be cute, pretty, beautiful, yes, but simultaneously these adjectives give me discomfort - and feel false. I want people to see me as a girl, but also I do not want them to (just as I want people to see me as a boy but also don't want them to). /gen
I want to be a parent in both senses. I want to medically transition but also remain in my current form. I like my name (Andy) because it is both masculine and feminine and can mean both to me, so it works. I want to be beautiful, have long hair, be easily identified as g*rl (i), but simultaneously I want to be handsome, short hair, be seen as male. I want to be both a boy in a dress and a butch girl. I don't know how to compute so many conflicting feelings so I often dress neutrally.
My voice simultaneously gives me gender euphoria and dysphoria, just as my masculine features/face gives me gender euphoria and dysphoria. I am very much a g*rl (i) (because of course I am) but at the same time, I am not at all?? I also feel like I was supposed to be ftm, like this is destiny, a path I am taken upon, but simultaneously I wonder if maybe I'm just cis.
I am unsure what gender actually is? Is it a feeling? If it is a feeling, then I am surely gendervoid.
I would like it if someone could explain what gender is for me /gen