(Quick disclaimer about the next sentences. If you struggle with an ED or derealization you should just skip over this post. I don’t wanna trigger anybody)
Wanna know a quick fun factoid? I have to write a personal narrative essay for school which made me realize two things
reason number 1 being the fact that my memories are all extremely foggy and I only remember things having to do with food
reason number 2: I’ve spent my entire life so far consumed in books and daydreams and movies as a form of escapism that
A) I know nothing about myself
B) I imagine other characters and people more than myself so often that sometimes I forget I’m a real person
Oh yeah ALSO here’s another fun fact. the only thing stopping me from doing bad things to myself is the fact that I live in a crowded house with other people and I don’t want to be a burden. Like two months ago my sister jokingly mentioned that she worries about everything and then went on to explain how she thinks I might have an ED. I don’t but only because I’ve had to physically restrain myself from doing anything about the intrusive thoughts I get. I was underweight as a kid and now that I’m a normal weight, I feel fat and disgusting and I don’t get as many compliments about my body anymore. I haven’t done anything about it yet so it doesn’t even matter anyways so I shouldn’t open up to my friends. Yeah.