TW: Dysphoria, violation of personal space, parents, implied transphobia
Hi everyone, Happy New Year :)
I'm a trans FtM teenager who is yet to come out due to an unsafe environment - thus, I look like your typical girly-girl cis female (that hurt to say). I am also an avid performer which means that I go out often (not much with the pandemic obviously) and need to dress formally.
Since I am not developed in my chest area, I can quite easily layer clothing and pass with a flat chest. But that's not "feminine" according to my parents. Instead, I have a mini collection of padded shirts/bras that I am forced to wear when going out (my mom refuses to buy a flat sports bra, I've tried asking her several times already). Mind you, even writing this is giving me a slight panic attack. My dysphoria peaks at the slightest mention of wearing of a bra. I've explained this part countless times to my parents, and of course, they pass it off as me trying to oppose to everything and being a stubborn brat. My mom even goes to such lengths as looking into my shirt and sliding her hand along my chest or back area to ensure that I'm wearing a bra. She has no understanding of personal space ffs.
Why am I supposed to wear something that accentuates a part of me that I don't really have and frankly, didn't ask to have?
So, I'm asking you guys if you have any advice to help me come to terms with this unfortunate need? How can I quell my discomfort when wearing a padded bra? Any and all help is greatly appreciated.
Have yourselves a wonderful start to 2022!
- Felix